January 11, 2011 – Better to Arm a Bear than a Lunatic

Today’s decree is in response to the recent tragic events in Arizona and at the suggestion of my father.

It’s becoming an all too common scenario.  A tragic shooting occurs and the media promptly lists all of the warning signs that are crystal clear in hindsight, but somehow made no difference in the perpetrator’s ability to purchase a firearm.  We are left just shaking our heads.  We need to make these warning signs evident in the background check process; before the lunatic obtains a deadly weapon.  Checking for a criminal record is vital but clearly insufficient.  A first time offender who is also completely off his or her rocker will still have no problem obtaining a gun.  Background checks for firearms should include school records, employment records, and perhaps even a random interview or two with some personal references.  Moreover, some kind of psychological questionnaire should also be developed and required of those who wish to purchase guns.  I’m sure there are psychiatric professionals out there who could develop something simple enough for individuals to fill out on their own but cryptic enough that the negative trigger responses wouldn’t be obvious.  Of course, carrying out these more extensive background checks would require a lot of man power, but that could also be a good thing.  Isn’t everyone complaining right now about a lack of job creation?  I just created a whole bunch of jobs, including jobs for the glut of psychology majors out there who don’t know what to do with their degrees. 

Purchasing a firearm will now require a criminal, educational, and vocational background check, personal references, and the passing of a psychological questionnaire.

If you’re reading this and feeling like I am infringing on your right to privacy there is a simple solution.  Don’t buy a deadly weapon.  If you feel the need to own a gun, then society at large has a right to know what kind of person you are.  There is nothing more precious than life.  If a few liberties need to be sacrificed to protect the lives of innocent 9-year-old girls then it is totally worth it.  But then I don’t actually have to justify my decisions do I?  This is a dictatorship.  You need to be a sane, law abiding citizen if you want to own a gun and that is that.

I hope you will join me in sending your thoughts and prayers to all of the victims and families affected by the tragedy in Tucson.

As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,

Marisa