Daily Decrees

Beginning January 1, 2011, your all powerful yet benevolent despot will make one decree daily that will become instant and unquestionable law. Though it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, it is yet unkown whether absolute imagined power corrupts. Perhaps it merely corrupts the imagination. We'll find out as Marisa, the newly ordained Queen of the World, attempts to change the world for the better by making 365 unilateral decisions. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter whether you agree with her decisions or not. So feel free to comment as long as you understand your comments are in vain. In all honesty though your queen is hopeful that you will consider the vast majority of her decrees to be the kind of decisions you wish your previous leaders had made years ago. The best part of being the supreme ruler of the world is that changes can be made easily. There are no agreements to be reached, no protocols to follow, and no bureaucratic red tape...and that is the whole point.

Monday, January 3, 2011

January 3, 2011 – Bags Fly Free

Today I unveil one of an extensive set of decrees focused on airlines.  I don’t like it when companies try to trick consumers.  People most often choose a flight based on price.  If airlines make their booking prices lower and then charge people for things they used to get for free they think they will gain advantages in the price-war while still making money.  Consumers think they are paying the ticket price and don’t factor in the price of bags, priority seating, water, use of the bathroom etc. until it is too late.  If it was only a matter of charging people upfront versus piecemeal I might let it slide but the bag fees have been creating numerous problems that make flying more frustrating and the precedent set by bag fees, that it is OK for airlines to nickel and dime consumers, is a bad one.  Therefore…

An airline ticket must include the price of two checked bags per person as well as one carry-on bag and one carry-on personal item (purse, laptop, backpack etc.).

Airlines are charging to check bags so what do you do?  You don’t check a bag.  You buy a whole bunch of 3oz. travel toiletries and overstuff a carry-on bag.  You feel like you outsmarted the airline.  What’s wrong with that?  You find out when you try to get on the plane.  Never mind the fact that you are now dragging bags all over the airport instead of checking them.  All your lugging is in vain when you finally reach the gate and find out that there is no room for your carry-on bags in the cabin.  People who paid for priority seating get on the plane first and take up all of the overhead baggage space.  They don’t even try to use the bin over their own seat; they stuff their bag into the first open space they see.  By the time people with regular tickets are allowed to board everyone is scrambling for open overhead space and the flight attendants announce that all remaining carry-on bags will have to be checked.  So the airline now has to check your bag, which makes the loading and unloading process much longer.  How will airlines respond to the overabundance of carry-on luggage?  They will start charging for it.  This awful pattern needs to stop.
Airplanes are designed to carry checked baggage.  I was once on a flight that had to turn back to the gate so the plane could be loaded with sandbags to account for a lack of checked baggage.  Of all the reasons for a flight delay! 
Honestly, I think this decree should make airlines happy.  They have been focused on outdoing one another with their nickel and dime schemes so they can keep ticket prices competitive.  Now that none of the airlines can charge for bags they can stop stressing and base their ticket prices on a simpler model. 
There is an important lesson forming here that I hope companies will take note of.  Business schemes that decrease the quality of life for consumers are not OK.  Business is not just about making money, it is about serving the general public.  Don’t forget that.
As always I remain your all powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,
Marisa

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