Marisa is Queen of the World: January 4, 2011

Daily Decrees

Beginning January 1, 2011, your all powerful yet benevolent despot will make one decree daily that will become instant and unquestionable law. Though it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, it is yet unkown whether absolute imagined power corrupts. Perhaps it merely corrupts the imagination. We'll find out as Marisa, the newly ordained Queen of the World, attempts to change the world for the better by making 365 unilateral decisions. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter whether you agree with her decisions or not. So feel free to comment as long as you understand your comments are in vain. In all honesty though your queen is hopeful that you will consider the vast majority of her decrees to be the kind of decisions you wish your previous leaders had made years ago. The best part of being the supreme ruler of the world is that changes can be made easily. There are no agreements to be reached, no protocols to follow, and no bureaucratic red tape...and that is the whole point.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

January 4, 2011 – Penalty for Being a Prick

You’re driving in your car. You need to take the next exit but the exit lane is backed up for miles. Do you:

a) get in line and wait while cursing periodically

b) decide you’ll go by a different route and take a later exit

c) stay out of the exit lane until the last possible moment and then wedge your way in thus avoiding the back-up

If you chose option c, guess what? You’re a prick, and what you just did is now illegal. Do you realize that you are actually worsening the traffic jam by creating a difficult merge where there shouldn’t be one? There are no sirens attached to your car and no motorcade escorting you. What exactly makes you think you’re so special that you deserve to make traffic worse for everyone around you? The answer is nothing. You’re just a prick. As of right now, police can and will ticket you for your chauvinistic behavior on the road.

The traffic sneak-around (when an individual avoids traffic by changing lanes or avoiding a needed lane and then sneaks back in to the line of traffic much farther ahead) is strictly illegal and will result in a ticket.

Not only will you get a ticket for this behavior, the police officer will also be required to detain you in your vehicle for twice as long as the delay caused by the back-up. You may still be a prick in your day-to-day life but I believe this will make you much less of a prick on the road.

As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,

Marisa