Daily Decrees

Beginning January 1, 2011, your all powerful yet benevolent despot will make one decree daily that will become instant and unquestionable law. Though it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, it is yet unkown whether absolute imagined power corrupts. Perhaps it merely corrupts the imagination. We'll find out as Marisa, the newly ordained Queen of the World, attempts to change the world for the better by making 365 unilateral decisions. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter whether you agree with her decisions or not. So feel free to comment as long as you understand your comments are in vain. In all honesty though your queen is hopeful that you will consider the vast majority of her decrees to be the kind of decisions you wish your previous leaders had made years ago. The best part of being the supreme ruler of the world is that changes can be made easily. There are no agreements to be reached, no protocols to follow, and no bureaucratic red tape...and that is the whole point.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

January 12, 2011 – To Rend a Letter

I am not a fan of unsolicited soliciting.  In my opinion, telemarketing is by far the most annoying offender in this category, which is why I outright banned it with an earlier decree.  Today I will focus on mail; not e-mail, but actual mail that is tangible.  We will get to e-mail at another time.
It seems that junk mail (credit card applications, coupon mailers, catalogues, etc.) makes up the vast majority of what I find in my mail box every day.  With e-mail and on-line bill pay I rarely have a reason to bother checking the mail box other than to keep it from overflowing with junk.  I would love to just ban all of it, or at least those credit card applications, but I am having second thoughts.  I am worried that a decree of that kind would pretty much put the whole Post Office System out of business.  While this will likely happen sometime in the future with or without me, I don’t really want to be the cause of so much job loss.  Besides, I do like receiving actual mail like cards and letters better than e-mail.  It would be a real shame if no one could send actual mail anymore.  Still, something needs to be done.
Junk mail isn’t just bad for the environment; it’s also a pathway for would-be identity thieves to gain access to your personal information.  Everyone knows they should tear up all of those credit card applications, insurance pre-approvals, and refinancing offers.  The problem is that those companies know that too.  They don’t want you ripping apart their mailers so what do they do?  Check your mailbox and see for yourself.  I’m sure there is at least one credit card application in there complete with a fake hard plastic card and a thick laminated brochure.  What’s the problem with that?  It won’t tear.  You have to open it and take it apart piece by piece and tear up each piece separately while using scissors on the fake card.  Ridiculous!
Unsolicited advertisements and applications may only be sent through the mail if they can be easily torn (packaging included).
Define “easily tear” you say?  Hire yourself an individual over 70 with arthritis in his or her hands.  If he or she can tear your mailer, you’re fine.
As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,
Marisa

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