Daily Decrees

Beginning January 1, 2011, your all powerful yet benevolent despot will make one decree daily that will become instant and unquestionable law. Though it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, it is yet unkown whether absolute imagined power corrupts. Perhaps it merely corrupts the imagination. We'll find out as Marisa, the newly ordained Queen of the World, attempts to change the world for the better by making 365 unilateral decisions. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter whether you agree with her decisions or not. So feel free to comment as long as you understand your comments are in vain. In all honesty though your queen is hopeful that you will consider the vast majority of her decrees to be the kind of decisions you wish your previous leaders had made years ago. The best part of being the supreme ruler of the world is that changes can be made easily. There are no agreements to be reached, no protocols to follow, and no bureaucratic red tape...and that is the whole point.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

February 3, 2011 – No Parking at the Pump

You pull up to a pump at a gas station and begin filling up your car.  While your car is fueling you decide to fill up on some caffeine as well.  You pop into the gas station convenience store and get what you need.  Meanwhile, your car has finished fueling and while you are looking for the coffee lids and hungrily eyeing the doughnuts, a line of angry customers is forming outside waiting for your spot at the pump.  I have a big problem with people who are so self-absorbed and self-important that they think it’s OK to make things very inconvenient for others in order to save themselves from 20 seconds of effort.  Fill-up your car; pull your car forward and re-park it in front of the convenience store; then buy your coffee.  That is the way is must be from now on.
It is unlawful to leave your vehicle unattended at a pumping station.  After fueling is complete, a vehicle must be promptly moved from the pumping station.
I can’t decide if you are a worse person when you leave your vehicle unattended while pumping to get your coffee, or if you wait until fueling is finished and then get your coffee without moving your car.  On the one hand it seems unsafe to leave your vehicle while actively fueling; on the other hand leaving your fueled car at a pumping station while you shop is the ultimate in self-important laziness.  Either way you are an incredibly inconsiderate person and from now on your selfish behavior is not only repugnant but now also illegal.
As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,
Marisa
P.S. Dedicated to Brett.  If you happen to get pictures of offenders in the future I would be happy to post them.
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    Actually, it is against the law to leave your vehicle unattended while fueling; it's just bad manners to leave it there when there are people waiting!

    ReplyDelete

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