Daily Decrees

Beginning January 1, 2011, your all powerful yet benevolent despot will make one decree daily that will become instant and unquestionable law. Though it is said that absolute power corrupts absolutely, it is yet unkown whether absolute imagined power corrupts. Perhaps it merely corrupts the imagination. We'll find out as Marisa, the newly ordained Queen of the World, attempts to change the world for the better by making 365 unilateral decisions. Ultimately though, it doesn't really matter whether you agree with her decisions or not. So feel free to comment as long as you understand your comments are in vain. In all honesty though your queen is hopeful that you will consider the vast majority of her decrees to be the kind of decisions you wish your previous leaders had made years ago. The best part of being the supreme ruler of the world is that changes can be made easily. There are no agreements to be reached, no protocols to follow, and no bureaucratic red tape...and that is the whole point.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

February 9, 2011 – Aisle Hogs

I have already made decrees that punish people for having little to no awareness of their surroundings and, therefore, making things unnecessarily difficult for the people around them.  Thus far I have focused my attention on drivers.  Today I will shift gears (sorry for that pun) and force some self-awareness and common courtesy on shoppers (specifically supermarket shoppers).
The rules of the road should essentially apply to supermarket carts.  If you need to stop your car on a highway, you are supposed to pull over to the side.  Otherwise you would be blocking traffic and making a whole bunch of people really angry.  The same should be true for supermarket carts.  If you need to stop mid-aisle to debate the merits of Post Raisin Bran versus Kellogg’s Raisin Bran pull your cart over to the side.  In contrast to what your tunnel vision is clearly relaying to your brain, you are not the only person in the store.  Other people are trying to get their food shopping done too and they need to be able to pass you and move down the aisle.  It’s a very simple common courtesy that requires very little effort on your part, yet time and again you fail to move until someone angrily yells at you, thereby snapping you out of your stupor.  From now on, please be aware of your cart and make sure that whenever you stop you leave enough room for others to get around you.  Conscientious shoppers everywhere will be grateful.
Blocking a supermarket aisle with your cart could lead to ejection from the supermarket (without your groceries).
As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,
Marisa

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