I have this recurring nightmare. I am in some public location and need to use the bathroom. When I find the public restroom, however, all of the toilets are unusable – either broken or disgusting. It’s a rather strange dream I know (don’t try to analyze me), but it illustrates well the problem behind today’s decree. Your average person can be pretty darned disgusting, and this can make using a public restroom a detestable necessity. It’s high time we set down some common rules of hygienic courtesy for our public restrooms and create a means for enforcement of these rules.
First of all, flush the damned toilet when you finish. That should not need to be said but here we are.
Second, clean up after yourself. If you miss the toilet, wipe it up. If you drop something, pick it up.
Third, wash your hands afterwards. Always.
Leaving a mess in a public restroom is unlawful and can result in a ticket. Public restrooms must be adequately staffed and maintained to assure cleanliness.
In order to solidify these rules I am deputizing cleaning staff (increasing their salary too) so that they have the ability to issue tickets for any individuals that leave a mess in a public bathroom stall. My hope is that with this decree, people will be more conscientious when using a public bathroom and will take simple measures to keep the facilities as clean as possible for other users.
Maybe when using public restrooms is less nightmarish, I will be able to get a better night’s sleep as well. That would be nice.
As always I remain your all-powerful and benevolent Queen of the World,
Marisa
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